The Sentiments of 'Adda' in Bong life !

'Robibar r Shokal' ( Sunday morning in Bengali ) with a cup of tea, eyes are glued to the newspaper searching for the latest news on political turmoil in neighboring states , upcoming election stats or rather a crisp analysis on electrifying  performance of Indian female cricket team in the world cup  final match ensues a vibrating  holiday mood  in a typical Bong household. No hurry like other days , no rush to reach office or school on time but a lazy start towards a peaceful break longing for a much awaited 'Nirbhejal' ( unblemished & unadulterated ) 'Adda' session. 

Bongs and 'Adda' go synonymous with each other  . It can happen anywhere , be it a quiet cozy corner at home with a pillow on the lap with a few close friends or outside home in the company of neighbors or near and dear ones . A deluge of a small adda session rejuvenates Bong soul with a renewed ardor.  Not that we always talk sense but more of  striking an emotional chord gracing these recurring 'Adda' sessions . The discussion goes unlimited pouring heart out , just trying to make a point with ones thoughts or ideas. 

During my growing up years in Kolkata , I saw elders  spending hours in 'Pada - r Rock ' , a so called small sitting place in a living  community debating on who is the best finance minister of India so far , Manmohan Singh from Congress or someone else , the best athlete India has produced so far , why Indian players  are not able to clinch top positions  in Olympics ( this is before Neeraj Chopra's magnificent Gold medal win in Olympics ) , Mohan Bagan vs East Bengal ( renowned football teams based out of Bengal ) , Rekha vs Hemamalini ( distinguished actors of  Hindi Cinema ) , Communist Parties vs Rightists , Arsalan Vs Haaji ( Famous Biriyani outlets of Kolkata ) , Tea vs Coffee and what not ! The list goes infinite . The topic is not important but more focus is on how one establishes with one's POV , articulating thoughts with soft skills and emotion both . Here logic is important but at times it is overpowered with emotion we call it as 'Bangalee- r Abeg'  meaning Bong emotions eagerly waiting for an appropriate communication channel, sometimes leading to emotional outburst . So at times,  it might appear to be more outrageous but finally ending up with a cordial note - 'Bhai , abar dekha hobey agami Robibar, abar bosha jak  ' ( Read - 'Bro , see you next week , we will continue our discussion ' ). 

This is the essence of  a typical Bong adda session. Just pouring ones heart out with logic , a bit of emotional melt down , a little or profound awareness on the subject matter and sometimes hour long debate for / against the forum. 

I remember our favorite hangout spot , 'Green Bench ' in my college. Those who have studied/are studying  in St. Xavier's College in Kolkata might be already aware of   this famous Adda spot . Adda is not always talking or debating on a burning topic , it is also immersed in musical waves and Guitar . In every  session , we can find at least one person who sings well or can play a Guitar . Humming on nostalgic songs by Kishore Kumar , R. D . Burman or Shreya Ghoshal ( just to name a few )  or strumming a guitar with the tune of 'Country Roads , Take me Home' , 'Sleeping Child' by MLTR , and last but not the least ,  our beloved Bangla Rock Band . 

' Ek J Holud Pakhi ' - a melodious , heart  warming rendition by Cactus ( Bangla Rock Band ) , 'Nilanjana' by Nachiketa or 'Ek Cup Cha e Ami Tomak Chai'  -  romantic Bengali songs paving the way of trend setting movement  of  modern Bengali songs  are all integral part of Bengali adda , when the  participants of Adda session tuning  in a warm  musical ambience all together .

Music , books and Films are all the essence of these hour long sessions. In general , people from Bengal and even 'Probashee Bangalee' ( people originally from Bengal but based out of somewhere away from Bengal ) are avid readers of Books , Novels and they enjoy watching Movies. Not necessarily it has to be always Bengali Books/Novels or Bengali Cinema but the interest spreads across English translation of Books from other states , Novels originally written in English or Hindi / English Movies. In this context , we must mention Calcutta Film Festival which has been happening since long in one of the prominent cultural hubs of Kolkata - 'Nandan' . 

This kind of craze for good movies is not confined to the young generation only  but all across generations . I still remember , our  parents used to study Indian / Foreign movie section very minutely  during Kolkata International Film Festival ( popularly known as KIFF ) and used to watch those movies they might have read good reviews previously. So no chance to leave such golden opportunities. I, myself,  got  to watch a few Charlie Chaplin movies in one of those screenings in Kolkata Film Festivals, one of them being 'Modern Times' , topping my  list since then. 

Watching a good movie has been a pleasant experience indeed but more exciting it is to discuss the impact with friends keeping film director's hats on ! So the whole process of film making appears to be our cup of tea ( Read Bong community ) , it is just the fact that Film producers might not have had  enough confidence  on us and we had to give it a miss 😂😂. So the individual  film making expertise remains limited to the confines of Adda sessions. In Addas, we are the star performers though , each and every individuals brimming with good potential in this perspective while savoring the  taste of green chilly in Kolkata Roll at the onset of  November chill in the air while sitting on the stair cases of 'Dakshinapan' , or around 8B Bus stand in Jadavpur , or at Indian Coffee House in College Street or a string of College Canteens ,  remarkable Bong style Adda spots in Kolkata . This has  now evolved much beyond Indian Coffee house or college canteens adding vibrant cafe culture in the heart of the city like  'Roastery Coffee House ' or similar Cafe Corners.

Not that we understand all nitty-gritties of film making like a director / producer . But in our imagination, we tend to play the role virtually !  That way, every Bong household has at-least one thoughtful film critique and by default  happy they are ever ready  to initiate  discussions  on  films or books closer to our heart 😋😋. 

Bengali Adda is never complete without 'Pet Pujo ' , going hand in hand with  Durga Pujo or any other Pujo event or even regular , informal get together. Since ages, we, the Bong souls are extremely  passionate about food , rather intricacies of  good food  in an attempt for a memorable trip in this  gastronomic paradise. As they say, 'the easiest way to get into a man's heart is through his stomach' , I would like to give it a twist. Rephrasing , the easiest way to get into a man or woman's  heart is through his / her stomach, Bong community dedicatedly stands by this . Not necessarily , there has to be  something luxurious or something very special , we do enjoy and find solace in the simplest 'Jhal Mudi ' ( Masala Mudi with a pinch of Mustard oil ) , 'Aloo Kabli ' , 'Bhel Puri ' , Samosa with a cup of tea or rather typical Kolkata style Panipuri . While focusing on a pressing issue at hand in a 'Jomjomati' ( read happening ) Adda , 'Ek Bati Mudi  ' ( one Katora full of Masala Mudi ) instigates one with more zeal making the discussions more thrilling and intriguing . Additionally , if there is a chance for a deep dive in aroma of Kolkata Katti Roll or Fish Fry ( Famous Bong starter ) , the discussion continues longer and might end up with Arsalan Biriyani. 

Just a point to catch here . Adda and food go on  in parallel , intricately impacting each other in its  duration, discussions  and off course substantial value add to Bong life. Not that , we always talk sense but a little more huddling in beating around the bush , just to receive a feedback - 'Bhat Bokish Na'  implying a little bit of illogical , insensible discussions / talks we are indulging in . Albeit, we do debate , accept or deny feedback but do never quit the game. This is the corner stone of Bong souls . We long for it and time and again just jump in there for an invigorating ,  fizzy moments of Adda vibing with its signature charm going beyond the limit of age or time. 

A good company of friends, near & dear ones , tea, coffee , conversations over the weekend gateway  motivate  us  together to start  off with a new week from Monday, next week . I feel myself lucky to be a part of such a close knit circle. Our Adda sessions Zindabaad !!

Signing off with a typical Bong remark after a potful & heartful of Adda blending company & conversations together   - 'Ultimate' 😃😃

******* End *******

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The Plaques of Pandemic !!

    The Lockdown!!

 

 While occupying a window seat in a very early morning flight I did not realize when I fell asleep, so deep. "Ma'am, could you please fasten your seat-belt?" I woke up to a firm, polished female voice. The destination being 20/25 mins away, all the passengers were getting ready for landing. I just looked down through the window. The long stretch of greenery bordering the winding river, pea-sized buildings made the signature in the panorama. Soon the downward trajectory followed, coconut trees along with blue-eyed discrete water tanks surfaced through, a very familiar view for me, a nostalgic feeling flew within, Kolkata - here I come 😊😊

It was supposed to be a hurried trip of a few days. I was eager to meet my brother after a gap of around two years who came down from the US. This was at the epicenter of my emotion driving this crisp home-bound journey with a little more passion. It's a matter of five or six days and I was traveling light. With only one cabin baggage, I would directly move towards Exit Gate III B, I breathed a sigh of relief.

A sunny Friday morning, as usual, business day yet weekend is around. Next two days, I would simply indulge in eating and sleeping, no laptop, no calls, nothing. This was the motivation triggered when I recalled I had to login sharp by 9:30 am for an office meeting. This short call and even a few more at later part of the day seemed to be insignificant when I was privileged enough to soak in the warm welcome at home.

"Katodin porey eley" - was a typical opening conversation in Bengali, with all my near and dear ones, flashing a bright smile on their faces. This was, obviously contradictory, as I had left the city just a month back. During the winter break, I was very much here with my son. This is the unconditional love and affection I have been embraced with every time I visit the city. I miss this terribly in the course of my coarse mundane daily life to oblige other commitments and responsibilities. Needless to say, this is the reality most of us need to cling to, why should I be an exception?!

Next day morning, I woke up brimming with holiday happiness. While savoring a hot fuming tea in a not-so-cold morning, I realized it was hurting in my throat every time I tried to drink not only tea, even water. Something might be wrong. A warm water gurgle with a pinch of salt might do the trick, I shrugged my shoulder. Eventually, I had to skip the lunch hoping for a sumptuous dinner thinking I might be alright by then.

 They say, man proposes, God disposes. Events took an unexpected turn. I fell completely sick, high fever, sneezing, coughing and whatnot. By the next few days, my voice was totally choked to the extent of being unrecognized by my colleagues in some of the office calls. The clock was ticking with no sign of major improvement, health-wise. Finally had to follow the door-step of my family doctor with the diagnosis of severe throat and chest infection. I was supposed to fly back. But my fate traced a different path extending my stay for a few more weeks just to ensure my complete recovery as strictly warned by the doctor.

 My earnest desire to be without work, calls and etc. had come true. But this home confinement was, definitely , not aligned with my latent idea of simple relaxation at the cozy corner of the bed-room I spent earlier days of my life. Being disconnected from my regular, rather planned work and network do not give a positive vibe at all. No matter what, health is the priority. Keeping this in mind, I was getting mentally prepared for this unplanned extended stay. The only solace was it to be a matter of a few more days and should be manageable. Thankfully, my return ticket was not booked by then.

 Little did I know what the future had in store for me.

 

Meanwhile, Corona became a buzzword everywhere, be it news channels or social media streaming flux of information on nature, number and other nitty-gritty of its spread. The whole world was coming to a standstill with no exception for my current location. The national lockdown was inevitable. A feeling of being connected again with the outside world engulfed my thoughts. The irony was, this sheer feeling of being connected was based on a common factor I recognized instantly, 'I am at home, so is the entire world'. But this was transitory, futile. I had been away from my family since long, no certainty on my probable return date, how would my six-year-old manage everything without me - gnawing distress grasped me inside with a sense of intense guilt.

 

Life there, definitely, had not been easy. Managing house-hold work, along with managing a kid, cooking, cleaning and last but not the least ,coping up with office workload was no easy task. It was not for a day but for months together. As per psychological findings, home-confinement and no social networking might fuel the fire of depression. But the situation at my home, thousand miles away, had been more challenging. No school, no friends to play with, all the time at home made life irritating at times for my little one. My regular video calls, sharing ideas and conversations could not fill the void created because of my absence.

 

I was wrong! Yes, emotional distancing from parents does make a serious impact on the kids but not the physical one. Except for the initial few days of lockdown, my little munchkin seems to be happy and content now. He has started trying things out helping Baba (my husband) in different domestic chores. Folding clothes and keeping it in place, making dough with the little hands, peeling boiled eggs, watering small home-plants has been a treat to my eyes. It makes his life a little easy, getting rid of monotony. Could see the sparks in his eyes and the giggles boost my confidence too. My little boy learns how to take a bath alone which he had never done till the time I was there. I used to dictate him the words, just for a quick spell-check practice session. Now when he tells me over the phone the new words he recently learned checking by himself, from a picture dictionary for kids, and asks me if I know them correctly, I burst into laughter. Jokes apart, it is co-learning with my kid, learning/growing altogether from little things around, towards more consistent and mature role life has defined for both of us, as a son and as a mother. At times, I used to be more protective or demanding towards my kid which might not be appropriate for his overall growth. They need their time & space!

Today, it completes around three months since I have been away from my family, my kid. I missed his Birthday for the first time. Even then 'Lockdown' is not all about logging complaints in a log book and raging war against destiny. It has a different perspective too shaping up 'New Normal' in our daily activities.

The End *******************

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The First Meeting ! ( A Short Story )

"Hello all, Good Morning!" – Titlie’s voice seems to be a little dull but crisp and clear. Everyday there is a status call at 10 am and Titlie somehow manages logging in within first 2/3 minutes. For a newcomer every little thing gets counted. Punctuality does not have any alternative, a principle Titlie follows religiously.

This is the sixth month since Titlie has joined this merchandising firm. Titlie is offshore coordinator managing retail stores in eastern region, supervising their weekly production, store layout plan and budgeting. Titlie’s reporting manager Rishi is based out of Singapore. Sometimes, Titlie needs to login a little early as Singapore is 2.5 hrs. ahead of IST, but that is not a big deterrent for her as she has been early riser from childhood.

*********************

It is a gloomy day with an overcast sky. Met department has already forecasted heavy shower across the city for next few days. Titlie enjoys rains a lot. A cup of steamy, hot coffee after a plunge in the rain is a bliss. Today she is working remotely so that possibility is beyond her radar. Rishi already has sent her product stock plan to review. Not sure how all could be covered in such a short call.

At times, Rishi’s expectation is way beyond Titlie’s caliber and this is quite worrisome for her. Afterall, she is new to this team and if the impression is not up to the mark from the beginning, God knows what is in store for Titlie.

The meeting just ended inconclusively. Rishi was expecting something from the team and it did not match up to his requirement. In fact, he was reasonably harsh on Titlie when last week’s sales number did not tally as expected. All her hard work might have gone for a toss! Unacceptable for Titlie! Dark, dense cloud has covered the sky all around. 12 noon seems to be 12 midnight?! A minute later, heavy shower with gutsy wind starts lashing down blurring the vision outside. One branch of the eucalyptus tree is crushing against the balcony Titlie is leaning on. Roaring rush of rain continues. The mild earthy smell fills in every corner, the first rain of the monsoon. Titlie slowly takes off her glasses, a long-cherished moment to let her hair down. But the sky opens up with all anguish and grief running through the rain. A part of it owned by Titlie, she quickly wipes out tears rolling down her cheeks.

"It’s ok, take it easy. Same thing happened to me last month or so – he just cannot expect everything to be alright within such a short notice. Also, some information he shared earlier for data analysis was not correct" – Swati paused to have a deep-sip of hot chocolate coffee. Office canteen at 6 pm today is not so crowded as compared to other Tuesdays. Titlie has already sent the work plan to the store managers and ready for a quick wrap up. She is planning to meet Manish in the evening. A childhood friend in her small circle, Manish is in the town just for a week. “You’re looking damn pretty today – just steal the show” – Swati pushes off quickly with a chirpy winkling.

*********************

Titlie makes her point very clear, a close association with someone, not necessarily, needs to nestle romantic sparks to be for each other. Titlie, shy by nature, hardly extends her boundary beyond her known circle. Albeit, she has never felt that inner resistance or the uncertainty while interacting with Manish. Maybe he was never an absolute stranger, be it tuition classes or Prachi. The binding factor has always prevailed. More significantly, it is the resonance in any relationship, which makes the bond grow stronger – Titlie has watched ‘Anuranon’, a famous Bengali movie, at least 5 times!

National conference is scheduled tomorrow in Delhi. Titlie has a presentation. Group Manager Rishi is flying down. Hence everything needs to be as perfect as possible, " which is next to impossible" – Titlie whispers. The conference is on Friday. Titlie’s colleagues are making a plan for a one-day trip to Agra. If possible, Titlie would have taken return flight on the same day itself. With Rishi around, she is least interested to spend a single hour more than what is required. 'Managers are managers! they can never be friends' – Titlie convinces herself while pulling the zipper of her trolley-bag. Early morning flight, only a few hours is left to set off.

****************

The airport is abuzz with the morning crowd. Titlie is hooked to Oxford outlet on the right corner immediately after security check-in. Every time she is around, this is the first place she visits. Mom was insisting on having breakfast at home but Titlie just cannot have it so early. With a cuppa Irish coffee ,Titlie eagerly flips through ‘The Daughter from a Wishing Tree’. Boarding is a little delayed. Titlie’s phone starts ringing.

“Good morning, Titlie – How are you doing? “ - Titlie takes less than a second to recognize the voice on the other side. Rishi is rushing to catch the same flight to Delhi. Titlie’s sixth sense already forecasted Delhi trip would not be a memorable one but she could not apprehend bad time would be kicked in before the take-off itself. What a strange coincidence! Titlie gulps down the fear quickly.

“Is this your first time in Delhi ?” - Titlie plays a straight bat, nodding her head. She is fascinated by Mughal history right from her childhood but never got a chance to visit the places around. In fact, she was planning a week-long North India trip with her parents last winter, but it did not materialize because of mom’s sudden operation. It is better late than never, Titlie resolves firmly.

“I did my schooling from Delhi, but later my family relocated to Hyderabad because of dad’s transfer; He was with Indian Railways, now retired” – Rishi pauses for a while to attend to an incoming call. “Local administration has really done a great job in making the city greener, Cool! I do not recall so much of green touch at least this part of the city” – Rishi continues. Titlie can see the resolve in the tired eyes beneath his dark framed glasses. “Still the flip-side is the summer here and now famous traffic – just unbearable”. Rishi is a little excited to talk about his younger sister who is a budding chess player. Title is a single child but very close to her cousins, again a close group and nothing new for her. Childhood, college life, family, hobbies and finally movies .. everything came in line, spontaneously, one after another. A lot can happen over a cup of coffee! Titlie chuckles.

“All the best Titlie, for your presentation” – Swati was trying to reach Titlie but the call went unanswered. Mobile phone was in vibration mode. Titlie just noticed it and found her message now in the voice mail. ‘OMG, it is already 10 am. I need to hurry up, Rishi, would catch up again”, Titlie rushes out but her mind is racing!

Not a single word has been spoken on Titlie’s presentation, papers or anything in the whole discussion! Is it the same Rishi whom Titlie has perceived to be arrogant, rude and at times so pressing?!

Surprisingly, Rishi has already watched ‘Angrezi Medium’ online.. Need to share this with Swati asap, infact, Rishi was looking damn smart in the airport with his Blue striped business casual, he would definitely be in his thirties, 34/35 at the max. Titlie can calculate his age with such a precision and out of nothing!

'There is a bit of resonance,' - Titlie can feel it impulsively. But why he mentioned he would stay back in Delhi for two more days? neither his family stays here nor is he joining office trip to Agra. Does Rishi have someone special to meet? Even that be the case, how does it matter to Titlie? Huh! Managers are not that bad over face-to-face connect, really! Titlie laughs to herself, as she plunges into a refreshing shower.

**************

Such a hectic day it has been. Second part of the session could have been made cut-short but anyways! Titlie just wants to unwind. Sipping her favorite coffee, she realized Rishi was not around during her presentation. Did he give it a miss? God knows! Titlie heard annual business meeting has also been tied up with this conference. A sharp feeling of disappointment binds her within. Titlie just would go back to hotel for night stay and catch morning flight tomorrow. There might be absolutely no chance at all to meet Rishi again. If she tells this to Swati, she would thrash it off straightaway, “Titlie – are you day-dreaming? “

Delhi traffic in this heavy rain is pathetic! Monsoon moments, somehow Titlie managed to return to her hotel. she is half-drenched. A hot shower followed by a cup of soothing cappuccino with ‘Crazy, Stupid Love’ on Netflix would be the order of the day, oops for the remaining hours in Delhi, she decides in a moment. It was quite heavy lunch, so Titlie can skip the dinner happily. Prachi insisted on shopping from Sarojini Market, but that was ruled out because of the downpour. Rishi even did not ask anything about her presentation, good, bad or what-so-ever. What if , Titlie would have had made the plan for Agra trip and Rishi would have joined there too? A few more days over a cup of coffee with Taj at the backdrop! What a miss, Titlie just cannot imagine. Life is crazy! In the morning itself, Titlie was scared to meet him face to face and now she is missing his face in the crowd!

Unbelievable!, Titlie’s interaction with Rishi, so far, is only confined to run-of-the-mill, formal office work with no strings attached. Such a drastic change in her thoughts in less than 24 hours? Poignant and paused, Titlie opens the glass window near the bed, tar-dark all around, sudden gust of cool wind tousling her hair with a feeling of ‘unknown’ void embracing her slowly. All just stupidity and crazy and of course not Love!! Titlie reconciles shakily.

**************

The office cab for airport drop has arrived on time. Titlie is at the hotel reception-counter for completing check-out formalities. “Good morning, Titlie, when is your flight?” Titlie turns back, it is Rishi, clad in White T-shirt perfectly complimenting his denim jeans. “You are staying back, right?” Titlie asks blindly. “Yes- I am. I thought of connecting with you yesterday but caught up in some other meetings. By the way, it’s very nice meeting you. Would you mind joining me for a cup of coffee? “ .

Titlie is head over heels. It is neither crazy nor stupidity but clear indication of love in the air, she is beyond herself. Titlie does not care even if she is a little late to reach airport. as ‘Coffee with Rishi’ soaking in mild fragrance of his after-shave is all the way more exciting and fulfilling than ‘Coffee with Karan’, that too at the last leg of the journey. God is great! Titlie silently occupies the opposite chair in a two-seater coffee-table. A bright sunny morning, not so hot though after last night’s splash, a perfect day, indeed, for a 'Probable' coffee-date!

Huh! Rishi recalls some strategic discussions happened yesterday and quickly hands over some documents to Titlie. He is a little excited over his upcoming APAC summit, but did not forget to show her some of his brilliant clicks of deep blue Pacific from his recent  trip beyond the border. Rishi speaks his mind, he opens up so seamlessly, may not be over the phone always, but where is the resonance? – Gone with the wind ?! , Titlie breaks down inside..

“Happy journey, would catch up with you again, pls. send me the reports by early next week “, Rishi smiles, waving his hands towards her. The cab starts moving slowly, the big lawn in the hotel premises left behind. Strong emotion wells up her eyes, no rose, no proposal, no banquet, but a bouquet of relaxed , innocent , informal conversations between the two , touching down different phases of life. A lot can happen over a coffee - isn’t it ?  😊😊

----  The End  -----

Photo Courtesy : Pixabay 

Kitchen, Kadai & Me !

The doorbell rang sharp at 5:30 am and I jumped out of my bed half asleep. Kanon (my cook ) turned up and I had to tell her the menu to be prepared for the day. For me, this used to be one of the most challenging tasks of the day to come up with a varied list of menus for break-fast, lunch and dinner. The same routine continued across the week!

It was around the first or second month post my marriage. With a profound hands-on proficiency of 2 -Minutes-Masala Maggi and ready-to-eat 3-Minute Poha, I used to pull my thinking hats desperately how-to bring variation with same old Potato, Onion Bhindi, Gobi etc. in the break-fast, lunch and dinner. One day could be managed somehow but what about remaining six days?! Life seemed to be a lot easier before marriage. Getting up a little late used to be comfortably accommodated with no hurry to prepare food. I had the privilege to have it in office canteen, especially on weekdays. Post marriage it is not ‘me’ but ‘us’!

One day, about a month before our marriage, my in-laws visited our place for high tea. We were all engrossed into a deep conversation on some traditional Bong delicacies my Mom and Mother-in-law prepare in different ways. They curiously asked me how I could manage my dinner, especially during weekdays when I was quite late to come back home. From the beginning of my professional career, I used to stay alone in a different city. Since I have always been a home-bee, I nonchalantly mentioned my preference on home-made food which made my in-laws-to-be highly impressed (I came to know this much later!). They were under the impression that I was very much into cooking even after a long day in office. Luckily, they did not ask me what I did indulge into, to satiate my hunger. It was none other than a plate of ‘Ghee-Bhat’ (Steamed Rice sprinkled with Ghee) which does not demand any culinary skill or effort! 😋😂

Those days, I was, definitely, not much into cooking. Neither did I follow lots of videos available to assist novice like us to come up with delicious dishes as part of day-to-day ‘Ghar ka Khana’. I must admit it to be one of my drawbacks. So long story short, cooking had neither been a magic nor bliss for me, at least during my transition phase from a happy-go-lucky, fresh-grad office goer into a reasonable and responsible ‘lady of the house’ having optimum culinary skill. I doubt, even today, I would ever be able to be a good cook, but I have realized, ‘Way to a man's heart is through his stomach’ – fits the bill appropriately in my case! My culinary skill improvement journey took off :

Phase 1 :

Being a Bengali, love for tea goes without saying. My entry into kitchen kick-started with preparing tea for my parents when I was in class IX or X. With sole expertise in Tea and Maggi making (as my asset) I plunged into marital bliss with someone who turned out to be a foodie 😊

It was a lazy Sunday evening post marriage and I was about to prepare evening tea. My better half requested me to add sugar-free Natura Pellets in tea instead of normal sugar. No doubt, a small step towards healthy lifestyle. I started adding that not only in tea but also each and every curry used to be prepared just to avoid sugar. Pls. note it is a typical Bengali cooking style to add a pinch of sugar in all Daal and Curries, not just to make it sweet but to add a flavor, kind of zing-thing. It was after a month or so, I found him happily grabbing a big chunk of chocolates post dinner almost on daily basis and offering me a share. “This is just for a change, you know “ – was his modest, crisp reply to my clueless, overtly puzzled expression. Now I do not recall exactly where all good effect of long-driven effort on sugar-free tea along with sugar-free Daal and Curries steered to !!

Phase 2 :

What I have observed, food preference or liking of my better half is a way different from a traditional gastronomic Bong. He is a foodie, by heart. He loves exploring different food specially when he travels, be it official trip or personal vacation. I was and still am, just poles apart and tend to be comfortable in my limited known territory in the food-map. Specially during the weekends, when my mind used to race for ‘Murgir Jhol with Aloo’ (Bengali chicken curry with potato) or ‘Rui Macher Kaliya’ (traditional Bengali Fish Curry), he used to crave for ‘Rajma – Chawal’ or ‘Gujrati-Kadhi’. So, my culinary expedition unveiling a very latent passion for cooking (if there was any!) set off with ‘seems-to-be easy’ recipes like ‘Tomatar ka Chokha’, ‘Baigan-Bharta’, ‘Vegetable- Jalfrezi’ etc. Not sure, to what extent it could satiate the taste-buds of someone foodie, but it did instill such a unique feel-good factor out of cooking, I never experienced before. Also, It did light a spark expanding my culinary horizon beyond so-called ‘Paanch-Mishali-Torkari’ (Bengali mixed vegetable prep) and ‘Macher Jhol’ (Bengali Fish Curry) into the realms of simple tasty cuisines beyond Bengal!

Phase 3 :

By this time, I started overcoming the difficulties of specifying menu-list for break-fast, lunch and dinner with no repetition for the entire week. “Let’s include only boiled vegetables for lunch once a week” - my foodie partner suggested confidently to make it simpler and at the same time it would add different dimension to weekly menu keeping in mind, the intended ‘variation’. Cheerfully I nodded my head like a pendulum. Being a Bong, ‘boiled vegetable’ straightaway boils down to ‘Aloo Sheddho Bhat’ (mashed boiled potato sprinkled with salt, a tea spoon of butter or a drop of mustard oil flavored with a streak of green chilly along with steamed rice). But assorted boiled vegetables (Potato, Cauliflower, Carrot, Papaya and Green Peas) sprinkled with black pepper and salt along with a cup of Masuri Dal and chopped onion –, boiled together- a learning from mother-in-law, can equally be tasty with the simplest continental touch in ‘Roz-Ka-Khana’. With guidance from her, I started trying my hand making different types of Parathas adding the ‘variety’ in my break-fast menu. The journey had become enriching, satisfying and encompassing a shield of confidence ( in me ) that the same ‘ Aloo, Piyyaz, Gobi , Mulee, Bhindi’ can work wonder to bring tasty , varied ‘Khana’ onto the table for all the days in a week, rather all through the year.

The platter I made ready on one of  my family occasions 💞💞

Phase 4 :

My mother-in-law is a great cook with an extra ordinary caliber. When she guides me with simple tips and tricks of making staffs , things become so simple. Even when I tried making same item multiple items later on which she might have prepared earlier, I always felt something was amiss. They call it ‘Mom’s touch’ and I wish if I could imbibe a small fraction of that magical spell into my culinary journey ahead. To infuse the zeal for making food in a person like me with absolutely no interest in cooking had not been an easy task and she did it seamlessly. She started with simple, easy-to-be-made recipes and gradually took me to the world of baking. I clearly remember, the first time when she told me about making Biscuits at home, I was wondering why to take this trouble as 'Britannia', 'Marie', 'Bisk Farm' and so many branded products are easily available in the market. But when I soaked in the aroma of ‘Melting Moments’ ( a variety of cookies) she freshly baked at home, my heart melted away!

Phase 5 :

Bong house-hold would be incomplete without magic wand of sweets. Just to mention, this is not only during our traditional festivals which is fondly referred to as ‘Baro Maashey Tero Parbon’ ( meaning 13 festivals in 12 months) , but also in our daily life, we crave for sweets, be it ‘Rashogolla’, ‘Shandesh’ , ‘Chitrakoot’ and the list goes on. ‘Baditey Banano’ ( home-made) sweets had already been into my radar from my childhood but again as a glutton. My maternal grand-mother used to prepare ‘Khirer Shandesh’ ( a dried sweet item made up of kheer & khoya ) , ‘Taler Boda’ ( a sweet item made up of Palm fruit) during ‘Janmashtami’ but I never tried my hand making this. After my marriage , my stint at making sweets was initiated with ‘Bhapa Shandesh’ ( a sweet item made up of Paneer or ‘Chenna’ by steaming process) under supervision of my mother-in-law. The moment I started getting actively involved in it , I could appreciate its process, effort and the mistakes. Need not be perfect always!

On the occasion of  'Makar Sankranti' and typical Bong way to celebrate with Patishapta ( made out of  Sooji, Kheer or Jaggery )  and Payesh ( sweet preparation made up of rice and jaggery )

And undeniably signature Bengali sweet preparation - 'Cholar Dal r Pithey '  ( a sweet preparation made up of Chana Dal )

Phase 6 :

Cooking is a bliss; it is a real stress-buster giving me a respite from long-running work load or the late night calls – typical of corporate life I have been part of. Now I can feel the gradual transformation I have been evolved with. Around Ten years back, I used to make it a point – no cooking during weekdays when office was on, thinking it to be an additional stress! Today, if I get a chance and in reasonable time frame, I love to indulge in pungent aroma of ‘Lemon- Pepper Chicken’ and nitty-gritty of its preparation as a means of ‘De-stress’ , accommodated blissfully in the interim break of my evening calls.

 During a summer evening , my maiden attempt in delicacies of Mango Ice-cream 😋😋

The learnings never stop! The sky is the limit even if we ever try to ‘limit’ this. For all of us , being tagged as women of so-called modern era, we do experience the gradual transformation through different phases of life based on the priority, situation and the expectation we intend to fulfill. The rituals , cultures and delicacies of different states in India , by itself, is a big  asset and we can imbibe the learnings from all of them beyond the border of our native place. I have been lucky to be part of some of the cultural events of other states , specially Southern part of India owing to my stay here since more than  last 10  years . We celebrate Saraswati Puja, Holi, Ganesh Puja, Dussehra all together in the true essence of unity in diversity !

  'Bapppa' s favourite Modak, tried for the first time , this year , during Ganesh festival. 

Like me, I am sure many of you might have had the similar or unique experience juggling between office deadline and a strong commitment towards appeasing hungry souls at home. More we tend to learn, re-learn, adapt, easier it is to strike a balance (to some extent!). It is altogether a different lookout towards life. Even today, I am far behind from being ‘Good’ in my culinary skill but now I have learned to manage my kitchen even without ‘Chicken’ 😊

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Dear Readers, thank you for reading my Blog. It would be great if you post some of your comments , that would help to improvise further in this journey 😊😊😊😊

The Six Yards of Elegance!

To grow up as fast as possible had always been a fantasy for the UKG girl!

While playing in the balcony of a sun-kissed Sunday morning, she used to make sure all her students ( read Dolls! ) complete their home-tasks on time and be ready for Monday classes. After all, it was her responsibility to pay meticulous attention to each student of the class with no exception. With plastic-framed toy glasses on, she could happily step into her cherished role of a teacher , still something was amiss!

Playing a role of a teacher ( exactly copying her mom who happened to be a teacher by profession ) was incomplete without wearing a saree , the little heart could feel the void intensely. The dream of becoming a big girl or a lady one day, was absolutely fantasized by the thought of wearing a saree everyday with a matching blouse! Her heart leaps up with joy. How lucky Maa , Mashi ( maternal aunt ) & Dida ( maternal grand-mom) have been ! They have so many sarees, each with a matching blouse and that too with a wider range of petticoats that go in unison with sarees. Little girl took an attempt for a futile alternative of wearing a maxi and at times a towel underneath but it did not impart the value-add intended for draping a saree. With a heavy-heart she went to sleep , becoming a big girl remained a long-cherished dream indeed.

 

If growing up means to be at least in Class-X, the journey from Class-I to Class-X would take minimum 10 years This seemed to be too long to wait for wearing a saree. Then what could the little girl do , so to justify, that she has become big enough wearing a saree everyday ? The instantaneous joy and the beam of pride engulfed the little one from within , she could figure out something, so easy to be accomplished!

What about an idea of getting married at an early age? may be by the age of 6 or 7 - doable enough! Sarada Devi ( wife of Saint Ramakrishna ) got married at the age of five only and the little girl read their stories in her story books already. Being married , if Sarada Devi could adorn Sarees at such an early age, what else could stop this little girl from doing the same if she could follow her footsteps?

 The logic seemed to be sound enough to take an attempt to convince her parents , specially her mom - the little girl felt confidant like never before. Finally there seemed to be a solution which could be worked on gradually.

Yes! such an irresistible craze, this Six yards of elegance, had been showering on the little heart. She could leave her studies at the very moment and other daily chores to get married just for making her dreams into reality - 'Wearing a saree everyday, of course with a matching blouse, neatly pleated , just like her mom' !!

        While playing in the balcony 😀 !!

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After so many years , when I look back, I still cherish this childhood memory , being that crazy for wearing a saree and I must admit, it is still there as-is, with me, might be a little more, not less, even today !

From such an early age, I was so much fascinated about draping myself in my mom's saree - just to step into her shoes.

 

Over the years, with the touch of grey ( grey hairs! ) I have realized , stepping into mom's shoe is not just pampering myself with the wavering Pallu but to extending support and responsibilities towards family , near & dear ones and work-front, inclusive all from a larger perspective.

Anyways!, childhood fantasies are everlasting, child in me tends to immerse in the grandeur of this appealing , feminine , unstitched , exotic yards!

'Baro mashey tero parbon' - Thirteen festivals in Twelve months did give me ample opportunities to adorn myself in Sarees , of my mom, specifically during Durga Pujo and Saraswati Pujo. Though not a thumb rule, from Bengali tradition perspective, draping oneself into Yellow/Green combination of Bengal Cotton Saree during Saraswati Pujo , a signature Bengali festival at the onset of 'Bashanto' ( Spring in Bengali ), does allure us with a mysterious , secretly-nurtured, diversion of that young age!! You never know when would cupid strike us making life blissful forever 😊 . And no need to despair in depression , as they rightly say, there's always a second chance . If it does not happen this year, something might be awaiting in the coming years , same time!. So be ready for that magical moment , and Saree has to add to that extra zeal! No Saree, no Chemistry for this mutual attraction ,much required for a romantic lead !😊 .

 

Traditional Bengali Taant and Kantha Sarees do need a special mention, being an intrinsic part of Bong wardrobe. Both types of sarees have been my all-time favorite since childhood, specially Bengali Taant Sarees as it has been one of coveted possessions in my mom's Almirah . Whenever one used to make an entry into mom's wardrobe, I used to wait with an eagle's eye to grab the right opportunity to flaunt it even before my mom could drape herself in it. But one thing I could never imbibe from my mom - the ease and the elegance with which she can manage absolutely a new Bengali Taant Saree and adorn it with perfect Pleats and Pallu in minutes. No wrinkles or crinkles in the saree, that results in clean and neat finish outfit altogether.

Bengali 'Pujo' ceremonies can never go without Red-bordered Tussar silk Sarees, beautifully adorned in a traditional Bong draping style which many of us might have seen in the movie 'Devdas'. I am no exception overcoming this deluge of elegance, but my attraction towards 'Dhakai Jamdani Sarees' and 'Khadi Silk Sarees' is inevitable as they happen to be my mom's precious possessions too !

   

It is not about wearing a Saree but how one can carry herself into the elan and grace of the whole Yards , which , in turn, spell out a different personality so beautifully - Yes a complete transformation , any woman would happily plunge into. I clearly remember I used to be the most diligent and attentive student ( Definitely not in my other activities, though! ) while watching my mom - step-by-step how she used to drape herself into a saree, standing in front of mirror and lastly accessorized it with a small Bindi . I blindly follow the same practice today, some knowingly and the rest unknowingly 😊 !

Maintenance of Sarees happens to be another aspect as Cotton Sarees tend to fade out and lose the glaze sooner because of detergent-based washing. Till today , I follow exactly the same process I used to see my mom practicing during my growing years , be it dry cleaning , hanging the sarees in organized manner inside cupboard or even getting them soaked in the sun during 'Bhadro Maash' ( Just before autumn ).

In the morning of my Pre-Wedding celebration , this is how I draped in Bengal 'Taant' Saree 💕💕

And in drapes of  'Dhakai Jamdani ' from Bangladesh , in the morning of my Wedding Day 💖💖💖💖

Time flies! and it is evident now, I might had developed an inherent immunity towards the strike from a potential cupid during festivities around Saraswati Pujo, but that had never deterred me from wearing a saree, be it any Pujo or Parbon ( festival! ). The golden touch of heritage and the ethnicity a woman carries herself in a saree is unique. For me , it has , always, been a happy-go-lucky attempt , to be just like my mom, for getting a glimpse of her persona, scrolling down the memory lane, the same imaginary set-up of a class room , black board , chalk & the duster, my students ( the grills of the balcony and my dolls I used to play with 😊 ), and last but not the least , me standing being clad in a Saree!

Draped in Kantha Saree, one of the signature sarees of Bengal , very unique and intricate weaving style imbibing rich heritage of Bengal  

At the cross-roads of life, without having sufficient data points to substantiate that long-cherished , drop-dead moments of diversion of the young age, I feel something is missing that I could have grabbed attention of my readers with. Only one thing has come into reality as per my plan I chalked out long back - to have collection of sarees from each state of India in coming days. But that is never fulfilling unless I snatch one from my mom's well-maintained collection!

 Even when marriage was not at all in my radar, I started short-listing her sarees which would be ( according to me! ) the perfect candidates in my own wardrobes post marriage. Even today , whenever I visit my parents, my first leisurely activity has been to scan her wardrobe to find a saree which would accompany me while returning to my den 😊 'Tui shob niye jachish ' ( you are taking away all from me ) - has been her instantaneous reaction with a radiant smile I have been eager to soak in right from my school days , again & again!

The elegance of Tussar Benarasi has been captivating forever 😊😊

Mundane routine of corporate life might not give me ample opportunities wearing a saree of my choice on regular basis ( it is not impossible though! and just needs a small prior planning ). Not that , for the sake of wearing a saree everyday, did I get married at an early age ( the way I used to think in my childhood, Huh! ). but given an opportunity, I always tend to cling to my childhood aspirations of immersing myself into 'Six yards of Elegance' connecting my childhood emotions with a flowy gracefulness of culture , belief and heritage I need to pass on to my next generation.

 Into the warmth of Katan Benarasi , attending one of the family occasions ,

Photo Courtesy : My dear friends and my reliable resource : Google 😃😃

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